tomorrow we say goodbye

i read a quote last week that said "home is where you unpack your heart, not where you unpack your stuff."  perhaps that is why i am having such a hard time leaving this place.  i unpacked my heart here.  it feels like my home even though it is not where i was born or where i grew up or where i've spent the majority of my life.  yet, i am deeply connected to this special place.  in part, the connection can't be described in words.  it's just a feeling.  but as i've been going through the emotions that come with saying goodbye, i realize that a large part of my connection comes from having "found myself" here.

in the beautiful snoqualmie valley, i found myself.

at home with my children, i found myself.

side by side with my husband, i found myself.

in new friendships, i found myself.

with the freedom to pursue my passions, i found myself.

and i'm terrified that leaving will mean that i lose a part of myself... that a part of my heart will not come along with me.

the same day i saw the quote about home, i also saw a quote that said, "wherever you go, go with all your heart."  i'm trying so hard to do that.  i believe that attitude in life is everything.  i'm hopeful that once we say goodbye, my heart and my mind will be ready.

i'm grateful to have the life experience that has taught me that this isn't the end, it's really just the beginning.  the beginning of the next beautiful experience in life.  and it's going to be a good one.  we won't have it any other way.

mill pond

i've been waiting for a year to take these pictures.  so many elements had to line up - water in the pond (there wasn't the first time i went), light on mt. si (not always the case with all the dreary days we have), calm weather (typically in summer), a little cloud cover and my schedule (the best lighting happens at the kids' bedtime).  since my time here is running out, i've had this on my mind lately. last thursday the kids and i were walking back from the baker's when i noticed the view of mt. si.  i ran into the house, grabbed kevin and my camera equipment and told the kids we were going on an adventure.  we loaded up in the car, made it to mill pond, and everything fell into place.  it was a fun adventure for all of us, and i'm so glad i have these pictures to take back to ohio with us.  it was totally worth the wait.

check us out

http://shannonsewell.com/theblankpage/2011/07/27/cause-if-i-gotta-play-by-your-rules-i-am-being-phony/

my FAVORITE photographer came to snoqualmie on sunday to do a family photo shoot for us.  check it out - shannon has posted a sneak peak on her blog.  it's a little crazy to see our pictures on a blog that i read regularly :)  the photo shoot was so much fun, and i love the pictures!  she is amazing, and i feel so fortunate to have had her take our pictures - she doesn't even do family photo shoots!  i can't wait to see some of these beautiful pictures hanging up in our new house :)

bainbridge

catching up... over memorial day weekend we took a quick little afternoon trip to bainbridge island.  we walked onto the ferry with the kids in the buggy, which was a super easy way to go.  the kids loved the ferry ride and had fun goofing around with each other during the short ride over.  we enjoyed the entertainment provided by our two silly kids as well as the great views of downtown seattle from the ferry.  bainbridge was super quaint and immediately struck me as the type of northwest island i'd want to have a house on.  idyllic little houses line the shore as you pull into the harbor, and the main street in town is a short walk from the ferry.  we didn't have much time so we took a brisk stroll to brunch at cafe nola where gavin slept, brooke colored and we enjoyed some good food.  after brunch we went looking for the "can't miss" mora creamery.  so glad we did!  amazing ice cream in so many yummy, original flavors....  while brooke and i were in line to get ice cream for the family, kevin and gavin walked down to a park where kevin ran into ashley, one of his best friends from high school.  what are the odds?  we didn't have much time to visit with ashley and her family before we had to run back to catch the ferry.  bainbridge was a really great place to spend an afternoon, and i'd love to go back when we have more time to spare.

first baseball game

we took the kids to their first baseball game on june 3rd to see the seattle mariners play the tampa bay devil rays.  it was a perfect night for a ball game, and we had great seats.  the kids loved the atmosphere and all the treats that came along with it - new baseball hats, train giveaways, cotton candy.  what's not to like?  we even got to see 4 home runs!  gavin was thrilled.  kevin taught him to say "hey, batter batter batter" when the other team was up to bat.  he still says that to this day when we're playing ball.  we made it through 5 innings and left with a score of 7-0 mariners.  it was a special night for all of us.

recital 2011

one of my favorite days of the entire year.  brooke's dance recital.  this year we knew what to expect; we knew how wonderful it was going to be.  i got butterflies in my stomach for brooke as her group was about to go on stage.  they danced to "reflection" from mulan, which was a beautiful song for a beautiful bunch of girls.  brooke did every single dance move in her routine.  it brought tears to my eyes.  not only was brooke very focused on her dancing, but she was also the one girl who made sure all of the other girls remembered where to stand and when to switch places.  she made us so proud.  this year it rained the day of the recital, but it didn't put a damper on our spirits.  gavin beamed with pride.  brooke danced her heart out.  mommy and daddy celebrated. 

two and then some

gavin,

you at the age of 2+ are everything that i expected having a little boy to be.  life at 100mph.  running, hair standing on edge, tongue out, smile on your face.  you are exactly the kind of boy that i always thought i could not handle.  i didn't give myself enough credit. you, my boy, will keep me young.

your attention span is about 5 minutes unless you're watching curious george with brooke, and then you can get in a good 30 minutes.  but you never sit still.  even when you're watching tv you're usually standing or doing something else at the same time.

when we returned from hawaii, you turned into a sports fanatic.  it's not an exaggeration to say that during every waking moment you have some sort of ball or bat or club in your hand.  you go from baseball to basketball to football to golf to soccer, and you insist on having another participant in your sport of choice.  brooke does not like it when you throw balls at her despite her insistence that she does not want to play catch :)  our one-sided conversations sound something like this: "mom, play with me!  pitch to me, mom! homerun!  kick it!  shoop hoop!  baseball game!  catch!  soccer field!"

you run.  everywhere.  you throw things.  all the time.  you are naturally drawn to "bad guys" (in movies), swords and fighting.  this can't be good :)  you like to be chased, especially when you've done something wrong.  this can't be good either :)  you use toys and sports gear as weapons :(  i have a stash of bats/balls/clubs on top of the refrigerator that i have taken away from you.  i give you time-outs multiple times a day, and you are very good at spitting out "sorry, mommy" in your most endearing little voice.

you shower mommy with love and affection.  i get so many hugs and kisses and snuggles, and i love them.  you don't yet tell me that you love me, but you sure do show me.

your daddy has become your hero.  whenever daddy is around, you would much rather be playing sports with daddy than with anyone else.  i think you know he has all the "real" toys :)

you and brooke are as cute together as ever.  you enjoy playing together and getting into trouble together.  brooke often puts you up to no good.  that never turns out very well for you, but you think it's as funny as could be.  you idolize your sister.  you love to be in her presence.  you want to do everything that she does.  you would do anything to make her laugh.  when the two of you fight, i'm never quite sure who is going to have the upper hand, but brooke is usually the one running away from you screaming.  you torment brooke, but it's so clear how much you love her.  you cheer brooke on - clapping and yelling "yay, brookie!" and beaming with pride when she does something special.

you are still my good little eater.  you eat all kinds of fruits and vegetables, and most recently you've started eating salad.  you have no idea how happy that makes me.  you actually like lettuce.  with a good salad dressing, of course.  when we go out for pizza, you eat a lot of mommy and daddy's salad, and you pick all of the black olives and sausage off our pizza.  you ask for a hot dog for lunch just about everyday, but you'll eat almost anything i give you.  you love split pea soup and yogurt and hummus and beans.  you also love ice cream!

your vocabulary is amazing, but i'm the only one who understands 99% of what you say.  a lot of your communication is very clear, but you can also be very lazy with your enunciation.  some of your favorite sayings these days include: "come with me, play with me, do it myself, me show you, my did it!, go outside, go to the park," and, of course, "no!"  in the morning when you awaken, you yell "mommy, get me out bed! breakfast time!" i love how happy you are to see me when i walk into your room.

at your 2 year check-up you weighed 32 lbs. and were 37".  you have no fear of the doctor or nurse.  you had your toe pricked and got one shot, and you did not shed a single tear.  you were so brave.

you can count to 10 with a little help, and you enjoy singing your abc's.  you can operate my iphone perfectly, and you are very good at some of the preschool games.  i know this is a hint of things to come :)  at 2 you know most of the cincinnati and michigan fight songs and because i always sing them one after another, you think they are one song :)

i see you growing and changing everyday.  you are sitting on the big potty multiple times a day, putting on your own t-shirts and are ready to move into a big boy bed.  i feel so blessed to be able to spend my days with you.  they go by so fast.  there are times when you absolutely wear me out, but even then, i am filled with so much love and so much joy that all i can do is smile.

gavin, you have a sparkle in your eye and a bounce in your step.  i hope that never changes.

love,

mommy